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Sunday 2 May 2010

Cringe-Tastic

Hello Everyone :)

Has anyone ever seen the sketch where Russel Brand says 'My life is a series of embarrassing incidents strung together by telling people about those embarrassing incidents'? Yep, that is me! I seem to be incapable of wandering through my day to day life without doing something hideously embarrassing. So...I thought it would be funny to share a couple of silly stories that my lovely friends like to bring up time and time again...

I want to help the bears please....

I cry...A lot. So when you add PMT into the mix I am a proper emotional wreck. One night I'm casually watching telly and on the advert break one of those charity infomercials come on for a bear charity. It immediately sets me off and before I even realise what I'm doing I'm sobbing down the phone to some poor chap from the charity. Now what would a normal person do? Say something like 'Hi, I just saw one of your adverts and I'd like some information about making a donation?' Yep, that sounds quite good...but no, not me. Barely being able to talk I sob 'Hi, my name's Nicola Carr, I'd like to help the bears please'

I'D LIKE TO HELP THE BEARS??? I mean whaaaat? Everytime I think about it I just want to pull the covers over my head and slowly die of shame. That poor, poor man that had to speak to me...Fucking Bears! (In all seriousness, I'm all for charity giving and shizz, I promise I'm not cold hearted, I would just of liked to have retained my dignity when being charitable!)

Bad Skirt Times

As some of you may know, I don't think I've ever bought a denim skirt in my life - I've always made them out of old jeans. So when Nick ripped a brand new pair of Diesel jeans I wasn't about to let them go to waste and quickly made them into a skirt. Sadly it was a little bit too big for me but I decided to wear it to my Scot Lit tutorial the next day. On the way to my tutorial I was carrying loads of books and was all flustered as I was running late. So I'm doing that odd half walk/half jog thing when out of the corner of my eye something flies in front of me...

...Yes, my skirt had fallen down and I'd kicked it off without realising it in the middle of the busiest part of the uni. Now let me tell you, there is absolutely NO WAY of bending down in love heart polka dot tights that show your bridget jones pants to pick up your skirt and put it back on in public with any shred of dignity. Don't even try. Whole groups of people stopped talking and just stared at me struggling - they didn't even laugh, not even a chuckle - they just stared. Cringe Factor 10...

Mistaken Case of the Creep

I probably have the most immature but hilarious group of friends and one of our favorite ways to waste time in lectures is to draw silly pictures. One time after uni I was on the train home and came over all studious, so whipped out the handout from that days lecture. A man came and sat on the seat opposite and I suddenly noticed that he was properly staring at me - it was rather creepy, I think I even text people ranting about this horrible creepy starer. Eventually it was my stop and I went to fold the handout I'd been reading when I noticed...one of my friends had drawn a MASSIVE schoolboy style penis on the back of the sheet...the man hadn't been staring at me at all.

Everytime I think about this I can't help but laugh - that poor man had to sit and look at that for half an hour....aw I could of killed the Sarah's for that hahaha


Cringey thumbs up for embarrassment...


Hope you found this funny - I have plenty more ridiculously embarrassing stories if anyone wants to hear them and feel free to share any you have in a comment :D

Lots of Love
Nic
xoxo

20 comments:

  1. Thanks 4 such a brill post. Made me lol!!!

    xx

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  2. I loved reading this.
    That second story made me laugh so much I was crying lol.
    I would love to read more posts like this, definitely brightened up my otherwise dreary day.

    xx

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  3. LOL oh bless you Nic!! I can totally relate about the first story. Although I've never sobbed down the phone to a charity. Yet haha. I'm sure there's time! The skirt story made me laugh, you poor thing!! Please keep sharing things like this, it totally brightened up my day :) xxx

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  4. This post actually woke up my boyfriend...serious, he was sleeping and I was laughing so hard I woke up! Opps! The skirt story is sooo funny! :)

    xxx

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  5. Hahahaha.... fantastic post babe!!! I was literally laughing out loud reading the cock one (that your friends drew) lmao... just picturing that is hilarious!

    xxx

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  6. BEST. POST. EVER!!!!!!!!!!

    I have giant penises drawn on every underside of my shelves and drawers thanks to dan lmao!

    Big peens FTW

    xxx

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  7. hahahahahah ... LOVE it!! I've just been reading them outloud for the boy ... but i was laughin to much at the skirt one he had to take the laptop off me hahah!! xxxx

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  8. Amazing! I'm a bit teary eyed from laughing! You could sooooo write into magazines and get some money for it! hxx

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  9. Hahahaa!! You are hilarious! I'm cringing for you, especially about the skirt incident :P xo

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  10. Fab post - your embarassing stories are really funny and very well told! x

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  11. haha this is such a good post and really made me smile, id love to hear more of your embarrassing moments!
    xx

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  12. Haha oh Nic!! Bad skirt times made me LOL so much <3 xo

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  13. So funny!! I hope this kind of post becomes a trend! (not just here, but on other blogs, too!)

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  14. Ha ha ha! The skirt and lecture note stories are hilarious! :D I feel your pain. Once when i was a teenager i tried to be cool and climb over a fence with those spiky bits at the top. I got to the top but my skirt got empaled on a spike and i didn't know so i jumped down and it ripped my skirt right off! So embarrassing.
    But i don't think you have anything to worry about with the charity, i think it's just very very sweet and i'm sure the guy on the phone though so to :)

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  15. haha oh my gosh you are so cute! this made me giggle! funny girl :D

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  16. The Beautiful News - Ha ha I'm Glad :D

    Tanya - Pheeew I was so worried people weren't going to find it funny!

    Kim - I don't think they should be allowed to make those adverts anymore - they'r traumatic!

    Stolen Thunder - Ha ha Love it!

    Louise - Thank yoou :)

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  17. Jo - I think it's funny because you can totally imagine it - poor man haha

    Karleigh - You disgust me HA

    Stacey - Ha brilliant!!

    Pandez - I've never even thought of that - totally should!!

    Emma - You know that feeling when you think of something and you just want to hide from the embarassment - thats how I felt hahah

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  18. LilyLipstick - Thank yoou!

    Caz - I'll def do another post soon!

    Jennie - It's worse because it gets brought up ALL the time 'remember when Nicola's skirt fell down hahahaha'

    Lillian - Oh noooo!! Pants on show is just not good!! And I remember the man on the phone sounding a little unsure of what to say hah

    Tennille - :D

    xxx

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  19. Haha love it!!
    I love to embarrass myself too...not so much in the ways you have but more like...falling over in public places.

    The best one has to be when I went out with my cousin and her soon to be boyfriend. We went to some bar in Tunbridge Wells. It was at the top of the hill, we then decided to walk down the hill to the club...what do I do?? Fall over in front of a BUSY kebab shop (and we had a big group of people with us as well).
    I just cracked up, my cousin going "get up, fucking get up!!" (laughing of course!!) Fun times! :) xx

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